The Wednesday Meeting

"Hey! Hey you!" the bus driver called.
Chris grabbed me by the collar and spun me around.
"You forgot to pay your fare. Pay the man."
"I did, I put a thousand yen in that box and got my change back."
Chris smiled. "It's just a change machine. It doesn't collect fares. You took your money and ran."
"Oh," I blushed, turning to the bus driver, "Sorry." Not 12 hours on the ground and my first newbie mistake in public.

"Gotta get some sweetmeat."
We went into a Hello's Kiosk.
"Sweet...what?"
"Sweetmeat," Chris replied matter-of-factly picking up a tray and tongs. He reached over and picked out a blob of bread dusted in sugar with two little wieners sticking out of each end.
"You're a brave man. Wieners and sugar for breakfast."
He shot me a knowing look, "You'll soon understand."
I bought a yogurt cup and got out of the place. It was bread freak show-wieners sticking out things at odd angles, soba noodles in hotdog buns, tentacles, mayonnaise, corn and tuna liberally smeared on what looked to be croissants.

"You go on ahead. I gotta hit the cash machine first. Here's the keys to the place," Chris said.
We usually came into the office early to read the Japan Times and get our shit together. The calm before the storm. I could hear muffled grunting noises as I approached the door to unlock it. As I opened the door, I saw half of a bra draped on the counter and caught the faint whiff of musty sex. I decided to play stupid.

"Hellooo! Molly, you here?" I asked, making a B-line for my classroom to dump my pack. She showed up in my room a moment later.
"Yeah. Kenji and I had to move the fridge. One of my lesson plans dropped in behind it."
Kenji showed up at my door adjusting his necktie but not before I could see the hickey he was trying to hide.
"Need any help?"
No no no...it's OK. We're done."
"Sure looks like it," I smiled back. Molly's banging the manager?
I stuck my nose into Chris's room.
"Did you know that Molly is banging Kenji?"
"Old news, my man. Well, I knew, because I walked in on them once by accident, but I don't think the Japanese teachers know."
"Why in the school?"
"Kenji lives in the apartment across from me and would be found out, and Molly's place isn't exactly private, either. You know she's got that weird student that spies on her with binoculars?"
"Uh-huh. So..."
"Molly's a sucker. She bought into the program. Her sales are tops in the area."
"How's that make her a sucker?"
"You'll see. You'll see."
"This is stupid. We're salaried employees, right? Explain to me why we punch-in again?" I asked, changing the subject.
Even though we were salaried employees, our contracts said we had to punch in by 11:30 every day even if we didn't have classes at noon.

"They might need you to do an interview for a potential student."
"OK. So once you're done your prepping..."
"...Look busy. Stay out of sight," Chris replied.
"You know Molly, she never stops prepping. Poor girl can't afford to stop. Got classes going five hours straight from noon most days. You, my friend, are a fucking Perfumed Prince. Carol moved some of her students to Molly and me, and poached the rest before she left just so things wouldn't be so rough on you."
"Yeah, my schedule is kinda nice. I don't start until two most days. You'd think doing Kenji would get her an easier schedule..."

"Back to the punch clock. Its real purpose is to gauge what kind of employee you are. How early do you come in and how late you leave? If you don't put in the 'correct' amount of hours, you're dedication will be questioned."
"Is that so? I'm going to read what Mike Royko has to say today," I replied, turning to head back into my room. Molly came in hot on my heels.

"Did Chris say anything to you last night?" she asked in a hushed voice. The school didn't really have walls. They were glorified cubicle material that extended to the ceiling and didn't do much to block out the sound from the lobby or classrooms. Dilbert would be proud.

"Huh? Wh-what? What do you mean? We had a few beers, talked about the Canucks, told me about Ako, Kenji, and a few things about this school."
"He promised! He fucking promised me that he wouldn't say anything?"
"Promised? What's going on? What are you trying to protect me from?" It's that bad? Wow.
"I'll have a word with him later. I've got to get ready for my group lesson, " she replied as she hustled out of the room for the photocopier.

"Hey, c'mon, it's time for the staff meeting," Chris said wryly, "Grab your paperwork and grab a seat in Molly's room"
"Staff meeting?
"Every Wednesday. Put your head down, doodle, catch up on paperwork while Kenji talks about sales targets."
"Isn't this a chance to talk about how we can make the school better? We did that in training in Vancouver." Chris rolled his eyes giving God the "Why Me" look.

I grabbed the nearest seat and the room went silent as if I let a loud fart rip. Looks like there was a seating order and I just disrupted it. It's just a seat, dammit! Kenji came in and made some quip to the Japanese teachers which none of the foreigners understood. Everyone stuck their noses into their paperwork. I didn't have anything to do so I paid attention.

Kenji was worried about our renewal campaign, and he showed us a fax from Head Office with a nasty black mark by it. Our sales results were not up to snuff. He then wrote the school's sales target on the whiteboard. I quickly did the math and was dumbstruck. Our target would require all of the students on campaign to renew plus 10 new students to sign up, or one student to gives us their life savings. Impossible.

I gave Chris a look. What am I supposed to do? Go out and grab people off the street? I thought I was the teacher and Kenji ran the business end of the school. He was talking to us like we were responsible for failing to meet the target. This really was doodle time for the English teachers.

Kenji wrapped up the meeting and Molly whipped out her books for a six-hour stretch of classes.

"What the hell was that all about, Chris? Kenji just whined about the numbers and told us to sell. Am I missing something here?"

"Yep. You can thank the clueless schmoes at Head Office for that. I think they just assign the numbers at random. There's only about 100,000 people in this area, mainly housewives and high school students. The turnover at this school is low because we're friends with all the students and they've got some kind of loyalty to the school. Schools in bigger cities have higher turnover because of all the walk-ins they get. Even then, it's war."
"What do you mean?"
"Take the schools in Yokohama. Big city with GEOS schools all within a short train ride of each other. A smart student would hit all of the Yokohama schools and get the best deal. GEOS schools have to undercut each other to meet their targets."
"I though we were all one big happy company."
"Yeah, right. I'm going to get a cup of coffee."

"Hey, Shawn," Molly caught my attention as I went past her door. "Don't listen to Chris. He doesn't care anymore."
"Huh? What? I thought you had a private now."
"She's late. Listen, I just want to get you started on the right foot. Chris has had a few run-ins with Kenji and the staff and I don't want you to get any bad ideas and run off like one of the other teachers did. The renewal campaigns are a drag for the managers, but you can make some pretty good money. I average at least 50 thousand extra a month and made over 100 thousand extra once. Just watch out for his BS, OK?"
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." What is this shit?

I went into the lounge for a cup of coffee. The "lounge" was a cockroach-infested cubbyhole with a sink and a small refrigerator. The refrigerator had definitely not been moved.

"See these," Chris said, pointing to seven sheets of paper tacked on the wall. "Before the official campaign time the managers have you draw up a list of targeted students whose contracts are up for renewal. Kenji posts this list is posted in the coffee room for the staff to see."
"Why do that? Now everyone knows how well or bad your campaign is going."
"Exactly, Pedro. See that? Yatsuko's not doing so well this campaign. Can't be a very good teacher. That's the thinking around here."

"That's fucked up."
"Yes it is. You'll learn. You'll see."

"Excuse me, John?" Kenji interrupted.
"Shawn."
"Shawn. You're student Umino-san is coming today. Can you approach her?"
"Like from behind, Kenji?" I winked. He didn't get the joke. "I've never met her. What am I supposed to say to her?"
"Don't worry, "he said with a grin, "Her husband has big money."
"You mean she's rich?"
"Go get'em, sport," Chris punched my shoulder and went to make photocopies.

I flipped through Umino-san's contract. She had a contract for 12 private lessons and today would be her fifth lesson. She just renewed! I have to ask her for more money so soon?

I went into my classroom and waited for her, bouncing a sponge ball off the wall. They were really big on this ball-toss exercise as a warm-up during training so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Tap. Tap.
"Hi, can I...in?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. I'm your new teacher, Shawn," I said getting out of my sea t to shake her hand.

Kenji was right. She was rich. She looked rich. Gucci bag, nice dress, expensive-looking manicure. She was also at least 50 years old. I threw the ball onto my bookshelf. What a stupid idea for a warm-up. No way I'm playing catch with someone old enough to be my mother. I killed 20 minutes getting to know her, but it was time to get down to business.

"Um...uh...it says here on your contract that you've only got 7 lessons left. Um...I was wondering what you're um...planning to do. Um...do you want to continue?"
She hesitated.
"Umm...How about you talk to the manager after class?" Gotta keep the talk going. Don't stop.
"OK. Sure." Boy, I sure screwed that up.
I stuck to the text and brought Umino-san out to Kenji after class. Chris wheeled into my room.
"Heard ya through the wall."
"Fuck, man. What am I supposed to do? I don't know any of my students."
"Don't worry about it. You busy now?"
"Uhh...no. My schedule says I got 2 hours to spare."
"Then I'll take ya for lunch."

When we came back to the school, Kenji was beaming.
"Shawn! Sugoi yo! You're a god!"
"Huh?"
"Umino-san! She signed up for 96 private lessons! We'll make our target!" he pranced, waving a fax in front of my face that had flowers drawn around our school's name. We were at the top of the list.

So this is what a campaign was all about? Angry black marks and flowers on faxes? What the hell just happened? I didn't do anything. I felt like a young Luke Skywalker torn between choosing which side of The Force to join. The only problem was it looked like Yoda and Ben Kenobi were already dead.

This was my second day.