Revolting Moments in Classroom History

[Mogura]

A Christmas treat for you all...

Long ago when LJ was a one-forum operation, there was an immensely popular thread, "Revolting Moments in Classroom History". As some of the LJ old-timers might recall, Eikaiwa during those times was a dirty, rotten, filthy affair. Quite literally, as we will see...

There was one LJ poster whom, like many before him, was exploited... beaten down, chewed up, and spit out by the evil Nova Eikaiwa machine. Along the way, he often found himself the victim of unfathomable, ludicrous bullshit at his branch.

He posted this one story, and it set off a flood of similar-type stories/testimonies. It was a bonding moment for alot of posters whom had gone through similar affairs. And it was amazing, some of the disgusting events that Eikaiwa employees had to put up with at the hands of their cheap and inhuman employers.

And so, with the original author's permission, I repost the story for all to enjoy and reminisce, and to give the reader a glimpse of what Eikaiwa was like back in the Outlaw Days. (And before you ask... no, this is not my story.)

And now without further adieu, this person's story...

----------

When I taught at Nova, we had a kid that came to classes who was slightly mentally retarded. (I do not recall his name, but I believe it was Nobuki, so that is what I will call him.) Nobuki could speak and learn English, so he was not that bad off mentally. He was probably 15 years old or so. Nobuki would always take two classes every Sunday. He always took man-to-man (private) classes. Because of his mental retardation and because he was partially blind, it worked much better for him to take classes by himself. We often taught him in the voice room because when the teacher wrote really big on the whiteboard in there, he could read it.

On this particular Sunday, Nobuki had his usual two classes with me as the second teacher. When our nitwit Assistant Trainer Beth (the highest ranking teacher at my school) came into the teachers' room in between class and just before my turn to teach Nobuki, she was laughing at me and just having a good old time telling me that I was going to have fun in my next class. She said something about my next student pooping his pants. In typical Nova fashion, Nova chose a complete fool to be the supervisor, whose only job and experience in life had been one year at Nova. She was the typical Nova “yes-man” who did not have and would never have the common sense to call this class off, but just thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Then into the teacher’s room came Bob, the teacher who had just finished the lesson with Nobuki. Bob looked slightly pale and sick. He told me that this kid had defecated all over himself. I was waiting for Beth to say something about how we would send the kid home and cancel the class, but, of course, Nova management would never consider such a thing. Beth just sat there laughing about the whole episode. Of course, I did not know what to do. Bob had been at Nova for over four years. I had only been there a couple of months. Beth was expecting me to teach the class, and Bob went ahead and taught the entire previous class. Therefore, I felt not only pressured to go ahead with the class, but also felt that I had no choice.

So the bell rang and off I went to the voice room. Later, I learned that at some point before the first class began, Nobuki was seen running to the bathroom and back to the classroom. However, no one is quite sure what happened. Upon entering the room, I saw feces all over the chairs, smeared in a couple of places on the carpet, on Nobuki’s shoes and pants, and smeared all over the front of his jacket.

The kid just acted like nothing had happened. I pulled a chair across the room as far away from him as possible, and I just sat there and talked. I did not even care about or try to teach anything. The whole scene and the smell was awful. I nearly vomited a few times but was able to hold back.

I was ready to just walk out of this class a number of times. I did not care if Nova fired me or had a fit or whatever they wanted to do. However, I was already in there and just wanted to keep the kid sitting in one place. I knew when the class was over, he would just leave. However, if I was to just walk out in the middle of the class, he would start roaming around in the hallway and over to the Nova staff and smearing his feces all over the place and making it worst than it already was.

Of course, when the class was over and I had returned to the teacher’s room, our brilliant AT was still laughing about the whole incident. I told her I did not think it was so funny, but she was so foolish and so Nova brainwashed that she could not understand what the problem was. To her, this was just another typical day at Nova. Nova would not allow us to cancel a class for any reason, and Beth certainly did not possess the courage or initiative to cancel the class.

After Nobuki left and during the next class period, I saw the Nova staff running around with bottles of cleaning fluid and paper towels. Most of it was in the voice room, but there were actually little bits of feces here and there between the bathroom and the voice room.

Eventually, the staff propped open the voice room door in an effort to air it out. The smell when one got near the door was disgusting, even after they had cleaned it. They closed the voice room and moved the voice room to an open area we had at the school for the rest of the day. The staff cleaned the voice room the best they could, but there were some stains in the voice room carpet that remained there until the day I left Nova. It was suggested by some of the teachers that perhaps Nova would have to get the carpet cleaned. Nova clean their carpet? It never happened.

Believe it of not, this is not the worst thing that happened while I was a Nova. However, it was probably the most revolting and disgusting thing that happened. But for the management this incident was nothing but another ordinary day at Nova.

[HagiwaraMai]

Jesus H Christ, that's disgusting. I remember hearing about a teacher at Chiba Honko I think who let one go at the beginning of the lesson but had been told he wasn't supposed to leave the room during a lesson, and was a bit strange, so sat there for nearly 45 minutes in his diahrroea soaked undies stinking the whole place out. And like you said, it wasn't me either!

[thedeli]

We had a slightly retarded girl who wasn't allowed to take group lessons but could take Voice. She was a big fan of Akiko Wada (a tall manly looking TV personality and singer with a bowl haircut). She would encourage the other students in the Voice room to ask her questions about famous TV personalities. She had a hamster and one day her coat seemed to smell like the bottom of a hamster cage. It was later discovered that she had pissed herself but went on like nothing happened. An AT taught her in a glass cubicle and was in tears. The AT told her that she should brush her hair and take a shower. The student was grateful for the advice. Meanwhile, the staff closed down the Voice room for the rest of the day. The student came in the next day still stinking. The staff didn't know how to approach her but thought about giving her perfume. (Yeah, that'll solve the problem). Anyway, they ended up selling her ginganet and the scent problem went away.

[Diploshite]

The last "incident" I experienced at Nobber was of a similarly scatological nature.

I was working on a late shift, and was in the school with only 2 other teachers and the manager of the branch. One of the teachers, let's call him Russell (for 'twas his name ) was having a bad day. He had been feeling quite sick, and as the bell for the start of the 6:40 lesson approached, he checked his watch and dashed out to the toilet, which was right next to the lesson rooms. The chime sounded and I headed off to my lesson, a MxM with a Uni student. As I started my lesson, I noticed that Russell had not turned up to his lesson, and his 3 sarariman students were starting to get restless. At about the same time, I started to become aware of a monumentally vile aroma emanating from the toilet. My student and I somehow managed to keep our conversation going despite the eye-wateringly acrid smell, while Russell's students headed through to speak to the manager, who appeared and started looking around for Russell. She eventually realized where he must be and knocked at the door of the toilet. After trying to find out what was wrong, she decided to tell the students that their lesson wasn't going to be happening, and they all disappeared.
At some point while she was busy, Russ managed to leg it out of the toilet, and out of the branch, cos the next thing I was aware of, the manager gingerly pushes the door of the toilet open to be confronted with a scene of coprological devastation. Poor old Russell had had a bit of an explosion in the trouser department, and had thereafter tried in vain to clean up the poo, but in the process, had managed to get jobbies all over the floor, walls and even in the sink!

So, of course, the toilet was sealed up, the branch was closed, and professional cleaners were brought in to take care of the mess.

Oh, no...wait...of course this was Nobber, so what actually happened was that the manager enlists the help of the teacher who had an empty Voice, dons yellow rubber washing up gloves, gets some paper towels, and proceeds to mop up the puddles of Russell's shite.

Quite unbelievable. And the best bit is that when Russell had legged it from the branch, he had gone straight back home (10 minutes from the branch), changed his dacks and then came back to work. He didn't stay in Japan for much longer after that.
I think I'd have done the decent thing and thrown myself in front of a train...

[nigerian_nampa]

Was it Skweekah who posted that story?

[Mogura]

Was it Skweekah who posted that story?

No. Fitting as it may seem, it wasn't Skweekah...

[MacGyver]

Was it Skweekah who posted that story?

No. Fitting as it may seem, it wasn't Skweekah...

It was most definitely a regular. I thought it was NN. Remember the story well, just can't place who wrote it...

[slinki]

We had a slightly retarded girl who wasn't allowed to take group lessons but could take Voice. She was a big fan of Akiko Wada (a tall manly looking TV personality and singer with a bowl haircut). She would encourage the other students in the Voice room to ask her questions about famous TV personalities. She had a hamster and one day her coat seemed to smell like the bottom of a hamster cage. It was later discovered that she had pissed herself but went on like nothing happened. An AT taught her in a glass cubicle and was in tears. The AT told her that she should brush her hair and take a shower. The student was grateful for the advice. Meanwhile, the staff closed down the Voice room for the rest of the day. The student came in the next day still stinking. The staff didn't know how to approach her but thought about giving her perfume. (Yeah, that'll solve the problem). Anyway, they ended up selling her ginganet and the scent problem went away.

nagasaki 1999?

[allblacks]

This is revolting in a different sense but Ginganet: Often times the most innapropriate students got ginganeted. Especially upon a toppatsu. I remember a 5 year old at my branch got that. Fer fucks sake eh!

[wilde_oscar]

Wasn't it Jay Ramey who wrote the poo-kid story?

[Mogura]

And here is the thread (clicking the 'Impatient?' link seems to speed things up). Talk about a blast from the past...

[RalphWiggum]

And here is the thread (clicking the 'Impatient?' link seems to speed things up). Talk about a blast from the past...

Good lord, I'd forgotten about all that. Can't believe all the forum data from pre 2004 was lost - I'm not going to go as far as to say that stuff was important, but it was probably one of the few archives of a particular lifestyle that doesn't really exist any more.

[Mogura]

And here is the thread (clicking the 'Impatient?' link seems to speed things up). Talk about a blast from the past...

Good lord, I'd forgotten about all that. Can't believe all the forum data from pre 2004 was lost - I'm not going to go as far as to say that stuff was important, but it was probably one of the few archives of a particular lifestyle that doesn't really exist any more.

As much as everyone complained about Nova in those days, it really did seem like a non-stop party, albeit with uninvited guests...

[Inakanosensei]

Most of the people at Nova were normal but there were also a lot of weird, mean, and bat-shit crazy people there. I never hung out with too many Nova people after work, but I still saw a lot of strange things.

Back in the 90s at the Chiba Station branch there was a weird student who seemed to enjoy upsetting teachers. One thing he would do was blow his nose and then toss the tissue onto the middle of the cubicle table. The tables were pretty small back then before they switched to the four-student kidneybean-shaped tables so that tissue wasn't very far from me. I think he did that to upset us and mess with our minds. I have to admit I was pretty grossed out.

There was another adult student at another school who was a brain cancer survivor. Between that and the treatment (they implanted radioactive material in his brain to kill the cancer) he was like a stroke victim, partially paralyzed on one side. He had bad acne, tended to drool, and looked like he needed a shower, but I didn't really mind. He was a nice guy, too. He would book Man-to-Man lessons (Yes, that's the sexist language we used at the PInk Bunny) and talk at us the whole class. It was a nice change from students you had to drag words out of, but I actually fell asleep during one of his monologues. He didn't seem to care and kept on going.

Well, the revolting thing was what happened to him. He did a homestay overseas and his host family, disgusted by his appearance and/or behavior, made him eat his meals in a separate room. It was a long time ago, but if memory serves, I think they eventually kicked him out of their house. Nova didn't return his money and didn't seem to bothered by the situation.

[allblacks]

This is not revolting etc but we had a guy in South Osaka who was JUST LIKE Robocop in his monologues. It was uncanny.

[sirwanksalot]

Good dig up, Mogura! That was the time when LJ was the most fun and though provoking.

[Inakanosensei]

I saw Skweekah's name at the top of this page. Does anybody know what became of him? Is he still around?

[RalphWiggum]

And here is the thread (clicking the 'Impatient?' link seems to speed things up). Talk about a blast from the past...

Good lord, I'd forgotten about all that. Can't believe all the forum data from pre 2004 was lost - I'm not going to go as far as to say that stuff was important, but it was probably one of the few archives of a particular lifestyle that doesn't really exist any more.

As much as everyone complained about Nova in those days, it really did seem like a non-stop party, albeit with uninvited guests...

It certainly was a non-stop party. I can't imagine I'll look back on any part of my life quite as fondly as I do those first couple of years I was in Japan.

[steki47]

I can't imagine I'll look back on any part of my life quite as fondly as I do those first couple of years I was in Japan.

Agreed. Those first 2-3 years were one of the most fun, interesting, productive and maddening periods in my life. Learned a lot of Japanese, got a black belt, got laid like crazy and it seems like I was drunk constantly. Awesome!

[Shawn]

Ahhh, memories. Nothing tops the crap kid story. I remember Jay Ramay asked that that story be deleted because he no longer wanted his name associated with LJ.

[RalphWiggum]

Ahhh, memories. Nothing tops the crap kid story. I remember Jay Ramay asked that that story be deleted because he no longer wanted his name associated with LJ.

As opposed to the thread where he lost the plot and outed himself as a massive homophobe?

[MrX]

When our nitwit Assistant Trainer Beth (the highest ranking teacher at my school) came into the teachers' room in between class and just before my turn to teach Nobuki, she was laughing at me and just having a good old time telling me that I was going to have fun in my next class. She said something about my next student pooping his pants. In typical Nova fashion, Nova chose a complete fool to be the supervisor, whose only job and experience in life had been one year at Nova. She was the typical Nova “yes-man” who did not have and would never have the common sense to call this class off, but just thought the whole thing was hilarious.

No doubt Beth was a complete tool like many titled instructors were, but it's worth noting that I don't think any foreign supervisors had the authority to cancel classes. I doubt if even the branch manager could have done it, especially if they were man-to-man classes. I mean, being able to crap in the classroom whenever the students felt like it was probably one of the privileges they got for paying the extra points.

[MacGyver]

Ahhh, memories. Nothing tops the crap kid story. I remember Jay Ramay asked that that story be deleted because he no longer wanted his name associated with LJ.

As opposed to the thread where he lost the plot and outed himself as a massive homophobe?

Yeah I vaguely remember that thread. The wild west days of LJ. Most of the posters on LJ are older, wiser, and more mature than we (and the posters) were back then. The site is not as much fun as it used to be but then I've long gotten over wanting to talk about picking up women and getting drunk...