The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby InTheColdLightOfDay » Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:01 pm

MonkeyMagic wrote:
exUsagiCoalMiner wrote:WTF?!? Anybody catch this one:
SAITAMA -- A sixth grade primary school teacher is in hot water with parents and the local school board after complaints that he was using kisses and snot to punish his students.

What`s worse is he did this at his previous school and instead of them taking action, he was shunted to another.


I'm sure he apologised. And probably bowed.
That pretty much makes most things OK.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Mogura » Mon May 09, 2011 10:52 pm

Something to listen to whilst reading the news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOgv-UuTgac

Source: http://www.japantoday.com/category/crim ... p-his-date

Man disguised as a woman arrested for beating up his date
Monday 09th May, 01:11 PM JST

YOKOHAMA —
A man, 24, disguised as a woman was arrested on Sunday for beating up a man, 31, in a hotel room in Yokohama, police said.

The suspect, identified as Tatsunori Konno, hit his date in the face and cut his thigh with scissors, after his male identity was revealed following an intimate exchange between the two on Saturday afternoon. “He started touching me and I panicked,” Konno was quoted by police as saying.

According to police, the two met for the first time after exchanging online conversations for half a year. “He looked exactly like a woman – the voice, the makeup, even the arms,” the confused victim told police. “He became violent after I realized that he was a male.”

Konno was arrested last year in October after he bit 3 cm of his then-date’s tongue in a similar situation, but the charge was dropped after the two parties reached a settlement.

“He is really beautiful when he disguises himself as a woman,” a policeman who was in charge of Konno’s case last year said.

During last year’s investigation, Konno expressed his desire to have a sex change operation and return to Hokkaido where he was born.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby allblacks » Tue May 10, 2011 8:44 am

This is just wrong on so many levels. I dont even know where to start!
"So the clutch is called a clutch and the accelerator is called something stupid?" Holly interrupted, "Why didn't they just call the clutch a squeezer?"

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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby SamhainP8 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:34 am

Tokyo Man Collected Spit From Hundreds of Little Girls
A 55-year-old unemployed man was arrested in Tokyo because he had a very strange hobby. He would approach elementary school girls on the street and ask them to provide him with saliva samples for his “research.” If girls agreed, he would film them as they spit into cups.

Since 2005, Tokyo police had received 125 complaints from residents who were disturbed by the man’s behavior. According to police sources, the man told them that he collected to spit for his own sexual gratification. The man said he’d been doing this for 17 years and had collected spit from 500 little girls.

The local kids had a nickname for him: “Mister Give-Me-Spit” (つばくれおじさん).

While the guy may have been creepy, was he really committing a crime? He didn’t force girls to give him spit. An article on J-Cast notes that a lot of Japanese netizens reacted to the news by questioning the legal grounds under which police arrested the man. A police spokesman explained that the man was violating the following section Tokyo’s Nuisance Prevention Ordinance:

* (「公共の場所又は公共の乗物において、人を著しくしゆう恥させ、又は人に不安を覚えさせるような卑わいな言動をしてはならない」- 迷惑防止条例の5条1項)

The ordinance bans vulgar speech or actions in public that cause unease and anxiety to other people. Although many of the girls initially consented to his polite requests for saliva samples, they were apparently not prepared for the creepy “research” video-taping.

If the case goes to trial and he is convicted, he could face up to 1 year in prison and a fine of up to 1,000,000 yen.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby SamhainP8 » Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:08 pm

Japan scientist synthesizes meat from human feces

It's being called the "poop burger". Japanese scientists have found a way to create artificial meat from sewage containing human feces.

Somehow this feels like a Vonnegut plotline: population boom equals food shortage. Solution? Synthesize food from human waste matter. Absurd yes, but Japanese scientists have actually discovered a way to create edible steaks from human feces.

Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. Tokyo Sewage approached the scientist because of an overabundance of sewage mud. They asked him to explore the possible uses of the sewage and Ikeda found that the mud contained a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria.

The researchers then extracted those proteins, combined them with a reaction enhancer and put it in an exploder which created the artificial steak. The “meat” is 63% proteins, 25% carbohydrates, 3% lipids and 9% minerals. The researchers color the poop meat red with food coloring and enhance the flavor with soy protein. Initial tests have people saying it even tastes like beef.

Inhabitat notes that “the meatpacking industry causes 18 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions, mostly due to the release of methane from animals.” Livestock also consume huge amounts of resources and space in efforts to feed ourselves as well as the controversy over cruelty to animals. Ikeda’s recycled poop burger would reduce waste and emissions, not to mention obliterating Dante’s circle for gluttons.

The scientists hope to price it the same as actual meat, but at the moment the excrement steaks are ten to twenty times the price they should be thanks to the cost of research. Professor Ikeda understands the psychological barriers that need to be surmounted knowing that your food is made from human feces. They hope that once the research is complete, people will be able to overlook that ugly detail in favor of perks like environmental responsibility, cost and the fact that the meat will have fewer calories.

Waste not; want not.


:puke: :puke: :puke:
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Mogura » Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:23 pm

Compared to the real thing, I bet it tastes like shit...
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Tall Tall Tree » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:02 pm



This story turned out to be, well, full of shit, of course. But it's a quirky story out of Japan, so the press of course ran with it fast and hard.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby allblacks » Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:23 pm

http://www.japantoday.com/category/crim ... -flee-nude

HAKODATE —
A 31-year-old high school gym teacher smashed the glass door of a police station in Hakodate on Saturday night, before removing his clothes and fleeing the scene, police said Sunday.

The man, who has been named as Tomoaki Monden, was arrested for property damage following the incident which took place at around 11 p.m. Police say Monden, a high school soccer coach, has admitted smashing the door by kicking it. According to police, Monden was drunk at the time of the incident.


Now this guy takes the damn cake. Right so he was drunk and that makes it ok.
"So the clutch is called a clutch and the accelerator is called something stupid?" Holly interrupted, "Why didn't they just call the clutch a squeezer?"

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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Are they the lemmings? » Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:28 pm

allblacks wrote:
A 31-year-old high school gym teacher smashed the glass door of a police station in Hakodate on Saturday night, before removing his clothes and fleeing the scene, police said Sunday.

The man, who has been named as Tomoaki Monden, was arrested for property damage following the incident

This is fantastic! The guy smashed the glass door of a police station, right? Not a koban police box, but a police station? So there is no possibility that there was no-one there, right?

So, not only did he smash the door of a manned police station, he stuck around for a while to remove his clothes before legging it, and no-one apprehended him at the scene?!?!?!

That's hilarious! :rotfl:
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby allblacks » Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:30 pm

"Police said" huh?

I wonder what info is missing from the story? If I may, I would like to fill in the gaps:

The guy was seeing one of the girl cops. Hey, both of them would be civil servants. Not out of the realms of possibility. He asked her to marry him earlier in the night. She turned him down. So he got pissed (yeah both meanings in one) and went round to her station. She wouldnt come out so he smashed the door. Then decided to show her what she was missing!
:rotfl:
"So the clutch is called a clutch and the accelerator is called something stupid?" Holly interrupted, "Why didn't they just call the clutch a squeezer?"

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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby SamhainP8 » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:42 am

:haha: :clap:
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Mogura » Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:19 am

:cuss:

Source: http://www.japantoday.com/category/crim ... ma-station

Man arrested for assaulting schoolgirl on escalator at Yokohama Station

Jul. 24, 2011 - 06:01AM JST

YOKOHAMA —

Police said Saturday they have arrested a man for pushing a schoolgirl on an escalator in Yokohama Station on Friday. The man, who has been identified as Hirokazu Okada, 32, from Yokohama, was arrested over an incident that occurred on June 28.

The incident occurred at around 6:15 p.m. at Yokohama Station. The 13-year-old schoolgirl was pushed from behind while descending on an escalator. According to police, Okada was seen pushing the girl on security cameras.

Meanwhile, Sankei Shimbun reports thst Okada is also under investigation by police for a second incident that occurred about five minutes later outside the station in which the same schoolgirl sustained minor injuries when she was hit by a bicycle. Okada was quoted by police as saying, “When I’m in a bad mood, I feel like taking it out on young girls.”
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby SamhainP8 » Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:26 am

“When I’m in a bad mood, I feel like taking it out on young girls.”


What a little piece of cowardly shit this cunt is.

Lock him up and throw away the key now as it's only a matter of time before he really hurts someone.
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Man arrested for making fraudulent reservations on airport b

Unread postby Mogura » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:06 pm

I kinda sympathize with the guy, as I hate riding in crowded buses, too...

Source: http://www.japantoday.com/category/crim ... ousine-bus

Man arrested for making fraudulent reservations on airport limousine bus

Aug. 26, 2011 - 07:01AM JST

TOKYO —
Police said Thursday they have arrested a man for making fraudulent reservations for a limousine bus bound for Haneda Airport recently. The man allegedly booked his own seat on the limousine legitimately, but continued to book 16 other seats under assumed names, without paying for them.

Apparently, this is not the first time the man, who is 24 and unemployed, has used this scheme, police said. In a previous incident, he booked 30 seats by mixing and matching the names of comedians and celebrities, police say.

The man was quoted by police as saying he likes to watch planes, so he goes to Haneda often. But he said he hates riding in crowded buses. The bus operator told police the man’s deceptions have been costing the company money since last autumn.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby allblacks » Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:13 am

Dickhead JR NOZOMI DRIVER FORGETS HIS GLASSES: STOPS TRAIN.

And this affected 6600 people? Jesus! What a nutjob.
"So the clutch is called a clutch and the accelerator is called something stupid?" Holly interrupted, "Why didn't they just call the clutch a squeezer?"

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Man cooks, serves own genitals to 5 paying diners

Unread postby Mogura » Sat May 26, 2012 8:34 am

:omfg:

Source: http://www.japantoday.com/category/nati ... ing-diners

Man cooks, serves own genitals to 5 paying diners
National May. 26, 2012 - 07:10AM JST

TOKYO —
A Japanese artist cooked his own genitals and served them to five paying diners in Tokyo to cover the medical costs, in a bizarre act to raise awareness about sexual minorities.

Mao Sugiyama had his penis and testicles surgically removed in March and kept them frozen for two months before dishing them out—seasoned and braised—to customers at an event hall on May 13, according to postings on his Twitter account and local police.

Diners paid 20,000 yen for the plate with a portion of genitals. Pictures published on a website appeared to show the meal came complete with mushrooms and a parsley garnish.

The painter, who is reportedly 22, said on Twitter the organ had been removed by a physician and certified to be free of infections.

The meal was prepared under the supervision of a certified cook and diners were required to sign a waiver indemnifying Sugiyama and event organizers.

In May 18 tweets, the artist said steps were taken so the act met all relevant laws, including a ban on organ sales, processing of medical waste and even food sanitation requirements.

“I receive questions from some women and men… asking ‘Will there be a next time? Please host it again.’ But there is only one set of male organ,” he tweeted on May 16.

“Unfortunately, I have no plan for the next time.”

Sugiyama, who considers himself “asexual,” that is without gender, initially thought about eating the genitals himself, but decided to solicit paying customers to help pay his hospital bills for the surgery.

In an email to AFP, he confirmed the event had taken place and said it was organized to raise awareness about “sexual minorities, x-gender, asexual people.” He said he was readying to publish an official account of the day.

Police in Tokyo said they knew of the episode, but added that it had not broken the law as cannibalism was not illegal in Japan.

“We are aware of the case. There was nothing (criminal) to it. It does not violate any detailed rules. There is nothing to take action about,” an officer at Suginami police station told AFP.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby sirwanksalot » Sat May 26, 2012 1:43 pm

Freak....
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Langslave » Sat May 26, 2012 2:29 pm

Theres something definitely askew in that guys head. The fact that cannibalism isnt a crime here was news to me though, might go some way to explaining the examples in World War II.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby SamhainP8 » Sat May 26, 2012 3:57 pm

From what I recall cannibalism specifically isn't a crime in many places. You go down for tampering with a dead body or something like that.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby steki47 » Sat May 26, 2012 6:37 pm

sirwanksalot wrote:Freak....


Overall, I am happy he is not reproducing.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Shawn » Sat May 26, 2012 10:35 pm

sirwanksalot wrote:Freak....

Do you mean the guy who sliced off his nuts or the people who paid money to eat them and then ask if there would be seconds? :jaw:
Last edited by Shawn on Tue May 29, 2012 1:05 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Reason: Edited spelling mistake
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby sirwanksalot » Sat May 26, 2012 11:35 pm

Shawn wrote:
sirwanksalot wrote:Freak....

Do you mean the guy who sliced of his nuts or the people who paid money to eat them and then ask if they would be seconds? :jaw:


I will amend the previous statement with an added s at the end.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby MacGyver » Tue May 29, 2012 11:25 am

Shawn wrote:
sirwanksalot wrote:Freak....

Do you mean the guy who sliced of his nuts or the people who paid money to eat them and then ask if there whoIuld be seconds? :jaw:

Agreed. Interesting you apparently edited this twice for a spelling error (errors?) and its still not right... :P
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Shawn » Tue May 29, 2012 1:07 pm

Lol. I suck. :cry:
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby MacGyver » Tue May 29, 2012 5:13 pm

Shawn wrote:Lol. I suck. :cry:

I'm trying to do an imitation of my boss and I think I am succeeding! :pee:
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby BartenBotflyVB » Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:52 am

jeez, thinsg getting serious for japan now

http://www.risingsuntimes.proboards.com ... thread=129
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Police look for mayo-tossing assailant in Sapporo

Unread postby Mogura » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:01 pm

"The assailant is described as being 25-40 years old, about 170 cms tall, with short hair and wearing glasses." Well, that certainly narrows it down... :eyes:

Source: http://www.japantoday.com/category/crim ... in-sapporo

Police look for mayo-tossing assailant in Sapporo
Crime Jun. 21, 2012 - 04:00PM JST

SAPPORO —
Police in Sapporo said Thursday they are looking for a man who threw mayonnaise at a female student who was walking along a street in Chuo Ward on Monday afternoon.

The assault occurred just after 8 p.m. while the 15-year-old girl was walking home. Earlier the same day, at about 7:40 a.m. near the ticket gate of JR Hassumu Station, a 17-year-old girl had mayonnaise thrown on her back, NTV reported.

Police said there have been eight such cases since April in which an unknown man came behind school girls and threw mayonnaise at their backs. In all cases, the girls were wearing their school uniforms. Six of the assaults occurred near the Nishi 28-chome subway station, police said, according to NTV.

The assailant is described as being 25-40 years old, about 170 cms tall, with short hair and wearing glasses.
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Re: The Assorted Fruits and Nuts Thread

Unread postby Langslave » Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:59 pm

Why didnt they add "he had black hair" too? Oughta trim down the list a tad...
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Re: Police look for mayo-tossing assailant in Sapporo

Unread postby exUsagiCoalMiner » Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:05 am

Police said there have been eight such cases since April in which an unknown man came behind school girls and threw "mayonnaise" at their backs.

That's how I read that line...
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Re: Police look for mayo-tossing assailant in Sapporo

Unread postby MacGyver » Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:42 pm

exUsagiCoalMiner wrote:
Police said there have been eight such cases since April in which an unknown man came behind school girls and threw "mayonnaise" at their backs.

That's how I read that line...

:haha: Me too. I'm still amazed they are calling it "mayonnaise" lol
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