Lifes little gripes II

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by steki47 » Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:34 pm

MacGyver wrote:
steki47 wrote:Funny, my wife and I love that show.
Seems to me there are several of them, although they are all very similar. They all seem to have undertones of comparing Japan to the gaijin country and showing that Japan is, of course, better.
More than one? Ok, I watch the one on Tuesdays evenings. It ranges from interesting to funny to-as you mentioned-showing the superiority of Japan.

Still, funny to hear some J-gal complaining about how hard it is to get umeboshi in Reykjavik. :willnilly:

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Thu May 12, 2016 11:59 am

Mother in law has been super annoying for 2 weeks and it is really pissing me off.

First she decided, with wife, to ignore me when I said I will pay 30,000 yen to move to a new place. Wife went off on a business trip so mom and family came over to "help" us move over 3 days and complained that I didn't help a lot (umm, I didn't fucking want you to help so STFU). Then she complained that I didn't come home right away after work to help her unpack (umm, again, I didn't ask for your help plus wife was going to rearrange everything anyway).

Last Tuesday we basically woke up with a phone call from them at 9:00 AM saying they bought us tickets for the 4 of us to go traveling during golden week, so we had one hour to get ready as that's when they would be coming by. I had to pay my health insurance and didn't have time to do it (in kokumin kenko hoken with this job due to length) so I am guessing some sort of letter got sent to the house. This morning, missus leaves before me and, while I am taking a shower, mom calls me (about said letter, I guess). I get out of shower to discover mom's call (honestly I don't like talking to her on the phone) plus a message from wife about how I was rude to her mom by not answering the phone.

Mother-in-law is nice and tries to be helpful, but honestly it is too much - coming over to clean and shit like that.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by In The Know » Thu May 12, 2016 9:48 pm

inflames wrote:Last Tuesday we basically woke up with a phone call from them at 9:00 AM saying they bought us tickets for the 4 of us to go traveling during golden week, so we had one hour to get ready as that's when they would be coming by.
:shock: Wow. My mind went numb after reading that. That kind of impulsiveness and inconsideration for others (you, sleeping) is rather un-Japanese.
Travelling during Golden Week-- not to mention with in-laws with whom things are "frosty"-- is a drop kick to the nut sack. Have you considered moving to another island in the Japanese archipelago? :)

It sounds like you took all this better than I would. In-laws or not, I can be rather brusque and direct when the situation calls for it. :roll:

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Fri May 13, 2016 9:53 am

In The Know wrote:That kind of impulsiveness and inconsideration for others (you, sleeping) is rather un-Japanese.
Maybe it's their generation but my in-laws are the same. I was going to try to give them a pass and say that they aren't so much inconsiderate but are so self-absorbed that they don't think about anyone else, which is of course is the definition of inconsiderate. :doh:

My FIL wakes up about 6am everyday and makes a huge racket most mornings. I guess he thinks he's up so screw everyone else. Although a better guess he doesn't even think. MIL will get the vacuum going twice a week at 7:30am. To demonstrate how self-absorbed she is, I get up at various times each day but I'd say before 7:30 half days a week and after 7:30 the other half. Every time (no really, every time) I wake up before 7:30, she says "You're up early". This week, I've been up before 7 everyday and at 5 on Wednesday. And yet both today and yesterday she said "You're up early." She would have no clue of the irony of this cause she's so self-absorbed, although to be kinda fair in a strange way, I think it's just an automatic comment. She doesn't have a filter between her brain and mouth, and of course she knows everything, even though she only has a HS education, has never traveled the world, and has lived in the same 20 km area her entire life. But that's an entirely different gripe!
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Fri May 13, 2016 10:27 am

I was slightly peeved about the no notice thing, but a free vacation was nice (to Kyushu). Father-in-law usually puts down limits for mom so actually I was more peeved about wife's ability to fall asleep immediately whenever she saw a bed rather than parents.

My father-in-law is actually reasonable, except he doesn't talk much and chain smokes. He actually makes really good jokes.

MacGyver - my mother-in-law has no filter, and the knowing everything despite only having a HS education is the exact same (although mine likes traveling and moved from Kyushu to Kansai). Some of the stuff has rubbed off on missus too. She insists the correct way to wash clothes is with a ton of water and detergent and fabric softener, but only half full of clothes. Buying seasoned meat was originally bad because then they don't have to put where its from on the package, then apparently they take rotten meat and season it, so it's better. The idea that if they're deliberately selling one kind of rotten meat, all of their meat is suspect is lost on them.

On the way to get our juminhyo moved to our new address - mom is insisting she come with me to city hall and I told missus I am an adult and can do it on my own. Missus said it was a manners thing with her mom and I said fine I'm on this train and haven't heard anythinng since.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Fri May 13, 2016 10:59 am

inflames wrote:Some of the stuff has rubbed off on missus too. She insists the correct way to wash clothes is with a ton of water and detergent and fabric softener, but only half full of clothes. Buying seasoned meat was originally bad because then they don't have to put where its from on the package, then apparently they take rotten meat and season it, so it's better. The idea that if they're deliberately selling one kind of rotten meat, all of their meat is suspect is lost on them.
Ha! Yep my MIL too (thinks there is only one right way, her way, to do things). Which shits my wife off no end. Speaking of laundry, MIL wil even wash her clothes separately and use different detergent/softener. A few weeks back my wife was doing the laundry as we had our nieces and nephews here so wife thought it would help MIL out (cause MIL must be boss and take care of the kids, although only when it suits her :anger: ) and do the laundry. MIL comes rushing out (machine is outside) and says "Leave it I'll do it!" and then of course she bitches that my never helps around the house. Same with cooking. MIL bitches that the wife never cooks and yet every time she (or even I for that matter) try to cook, she's all up in our trying to tell us how to do it to "educate" us cause her way is better/right. Like when I cook, generally it is western food (MIL can only cook J food or J bastardizations of Asian/western food) cause that's what I want to eat seeing as I rarely get to eat western good. So she'll ask what I'm coking and sometimes say "Oh, I've never heard of that" and then in the same breath "you should do this or cook it like that". Hang on. You don't even know what the fark I am cooking so how do you know how to cook it?!?!?!

And speaking of rubbing off, wife and I like to cook together BUT when I am taking the lead/cooking something that I want to cook/eat we always argue cause she'll always tell me how to cook it even though she probably has never cooked it/doesn't know how to make it. "Nah, don't do that. Do this." "But I saw a Youtube video and the guy in that said do it like this cause XXXX reason." "Nah he's wrong." "Hang on. So you know more about cooking than Gordon Ramsey, a guy with three Michelin stars?!?!?!" :bang: Even basic shit. Like the other day I was making spaghetti carbonara and boiling the pasta. Pasta was done so grabbed the pot to pour out the water but had yet to get a sieve. Wife says "What are doing?!?!" Not in a tone like "I wonder what it is you are going to do next. Could you please tell me?" More like "Are fucking mad? WTF are you thinking?" So of course I got pissed and said something like "WTF do you think I'm doing ffs?" I stewed on it for a while and after dinner told her to stop telling what to do when I cook and used that as an example. She replied "But I didn't know what you were doing cause you hadn't taken out a sieve yet." FFS. Is it that hard to imagine what I might be about to do?!?!?!?! :bdh:
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Fri May 13, 2016 12:05 pm

Ha - I refuse to cook around mom and missus is smart enough not to say anything when I am cooking. Mother-in-law came over and cooked and cleaned on Wednesday but made gyudon, which I hate (it is up there with om-rice and hamburg steak)

Missus really ignores her mom - literally, she won't respond when her mom is talking or asking questions (mom is usually babbling about something).

Missus seems pissed about the juminhyo thing - I didn't ask for mom's help (literally take the train from our house for 40 minutes then walk 5, and the ward office in Osaka is near our house too). I asked if her mom would meet me at the station and she said no, she hadn't heard anything from her mom since this morning. Told me she forgot a book at home this morning (we are supposed to have lunch together) and I asked for the name so I could bring it - haven't heard anything back.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by AsahiSupaSpy » Fri May 13, 2016 12:32 pm

The only time I have really yelled at my girlfriend is when I have been cooking and she has come into the kitchen. I worked in professional kitchens in my previous (that is, pre-Japan) life and still have some of those habits, making me super anally-retentive in the kitchen. Everything is exactly where I need it and all the steps are pre-planned and timed out. What makes me yell at her is when she comes in to get a drink or something like that and will move my tongs, or leave a cupboard door open etc. Stupid I know, but like I said, anal-retention.

I also use a lot of heat, flame and big sharp knives so if she's in there while I'm cooking, bad things could happen. In restaurant kitchens you have to let people know where you are by saying things like 'Behind you,' or 'Coming through,' and shit like that. And if you open a drawer or a cupboard, you fucking CLOSE IT AGAIN! I couldn't tell you the number of times I've spun around and smacked my face into the open fridge door. I would have thought that was common sense but this being Japan...well I've kind of given up on that concept. I just banned her from the kitchen while I cook.
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by sirwanksalot » Sun May 15, 2016 7:10 pm

I gave up cooking when I was living with the wife. I too worked in a kitchen and am just about to start working in one again. Now that I am alone everything is where I like it in a tidy non cluttered way which makes cooking a pleasure once again. Did I mention lack of clutter? Fuck the ridiculous amount of shit that was piled up everywhere it could be. No more bags with bags inside. No more bags with fucking brand store bags inside.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Mon May 16, 2016 4:46 pm

Mom and dad came over on the weekend, but missus seems to have gotten the message and basically was telling mom to fuck off, which she didn't entirely get.

Mom still managed to fold clothes and gave suggestions about cleaning (need to change the mat outside the bathroom every day, clean the toilet every week, &C) which missus has basically never done. Mom also complained about my way of drying socks (putting matching socks together to dry). Mom also went through and threw out the remaining laundry detergent because buying refills is dangerous and you should only but new bottles or some BS.

Not too bad but honestly I want to move - parents paid the deposits here (which I am grateful for, but didn't ask for) but in a place where we paid the deposits I would at least be able to tell her to STFU.

I talked to dad about how I am going to simply make a 靴箱 since our entrance is weirdly shaped and he actually really liked it and offered to lend me his tools (I accepted, but told him I didn't need the power saw).

When I first arrived in Japan, I remember being surprised that cashiers didn't bag groceries for you at the store. One guy I asked said it was because all the housewives would complain things weren't bagged properly so it is just easier this way - I definitely see mother-in-law being that kind of person!

Missus and I are married but haven't had the formal ceremony / reception. I want to hire an interpreter so it will make things a bit easier for missus and I - my parents don't speak Japanese and hers don't speak English. She says that most of her friends (and mine) are bilingual so we or they can help but honestly I would rather pay the 40/50k for a few hours just to make sure everything is okay (I don't want to impose on friends - paying someone money to do it makes it their job). We are looking at around 1.5mln yen for the entire thing so honestly an extra 40/50k is nothing, especially for what I see as a reasonable expense (not like 200k to rent a wedding dress). What does everyone else think?

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by RalphWiggum » Mon May 16, 2016 10:23 pm

Take up the offer from friends to interpret. I had a couple of friends do it when we got married - got them a present for their trouble and covered their wedding & reception costs instead. They enjoyed being at the centre of the day and TBH they only had to help up until the speeches after which they could get drunk with everyone else...
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by Shawn » Tue May 17, 2016 1:31 am

If you think spending 40/50k on an interpreter will make for a better day for you and the missus, do it. One less thing for you to worry about.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Tue May 17, 2016 9:29 am

Do what Ralph said. We asked a mate for ours and I did it once for a mate as well. Just pay for their dinner (reception) and hotel, and I'm sure whoever you ask will be happy to do it for you.
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by AsahiSupaSpy » Tue May 17, 2016 10:32 am

Don't do anything. I'm sure there'll be enough people there with language skills enough to keep the wheels greased. And asking a friend to hold off on the beers and whatnot while they translate a bunch of boring wedding speeches is rather an imposition don't you think?

But hey, I'm not even married so fuck would I know?
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Tue May 17, 2016 10:40 am

AsahiSupaSpy wrote:I'm sure there'll be enough people there with language skills enough to keep the wheels greased. And asking a friend to hold off on the beers and whatnot while they translate a bunch of boring wedding speeches is rather an imposition don't you think?
Nah, you need an MC so make that person a bilingual MC. What I did when I was bilingual MC at my mate's wedding was got the speeches in advance and got them translated in J or translated them myself into E. Then all you gotta do is read them out on the day. And who said anything about holding off on the beers? I had an agreement with the bartender that my glass would never get empty. Was actually a lot of fun in the end.
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by AsahiSupaSpy » Tue May 17, 2016 11:29 am

MacGyver wrote:Nah, you need an MC so make that person a bilingual MC. What I did when I was bilingual MC at my mate's wedding was got the speeches in advance and got them translated in J or translated them myself into E. Then all you gotta do is read them out on the day. And who said anything about holding off on the beers? I had an agreement with the bartender that my glass would never get empty. Was actually a lot of fun in the end.
Fair enough. Like I said, fuck would I know? Someone (Wiggum?) mentioned the thing about not getting drunk until after the speeches or something (if I misrepresented that, I aopologise to whoever said it)

My gripe is the stupid old prick on the bottom floor of my building. Our bikes ended up being next to each other in the bike shelter, which is pretty open to the elements and rather full of bikes. My bike occupies the spot on one edge. He actually has two bikes there. One is never ridden and in fact has two flat tires. He's padlocked that one to the leg of the shelter. His other bike has a lock on the handle bars which locks the wheel in place and he chooses to lock it with the wheel at a 90 degree angle to the frame. When I park my bike next to his and I know it will rain, I move his bike a little to the side so I can fit mine a bit further under the shelter. Often times when I come to get it again, it has been moved right out of the shelter or even just blatantly knocked over. I've documented it with pics on my phone and contacted the landlord but I'm pretty sure there is fuck all they can or will do about it.

I'm reluctant to confront him about it myself because with the bike thing, and another thing with him which is a different gripe, and the way I've been feeling about Japan in general lately I am scared I'll just smack him or something. Also, even if I did get through it calmly and without incident I can see the ranks forming against the foreign trouble-maker, as well as I don't want to cause trouble for my girl.

Advice?
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by sirwanksalot » Tue May 17, 2016 11:47 am

Superglue the cunts lock shut in a couple of months.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by sirwanksalot » Tue May 17, 2016 11:49 am

No really, have a "man to man" talk with him with the agent or landlord acting as a mediator. That's the only way to get anything done in the cuntry

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Tue May 17, 2016 11:55 am

AsahiSupaSpy wrote:Someone (Wiggum?) mentioned the thing about not getting drunk until after the speeches or something (if I misrepresented that, I aopologise to whoever said it)
Ah, sorry, right you are. Personal decision I guess. I made sure I was fully organized so could pretty much run on auto-pilot. At that point, I'd not long left a job where I interpreted/ran a 3-hour concall once a week and that was much like MC'ing a wedding: prepare everything in advance, run the meeting, and interpret on the fly where necessary. I have found interpreting to be all about how organized you are. Plus I needed the Dutch courage. Organization is one thing, speaking in front of others is another! So the beers were helpful. Maybe not for others though....
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by RalphWiggum » Tue May 17, 2016 4:33 pm

The speeches at my wedding were at 2 or 3 in the afternoon at the first reception. There was another 8 hours of drinking time afterwards. Nobody was inconvenienced! Also one of my friends (they both MC'd, as Mac says) is a professional interpreter so had no problem dealing with the speeches on the fly, no prep needed. They did a fantastic job and it meant a lot to all of us that they were such a big part of the day.
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by allblacks » Sat May 21, 2016 8:45 pm

Move his bike somewhere else even further away. People love to wine each other up here. Why not get in on it!

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by AsahiSupaSpy » Wed May 25, 2016 11:18 am

allblacks wrote:Move his bike somewhere else even further away. People love to wine each other up here. Why not get in on it!
Yeah, I did that once or twice but all it does is escalate things. Plus it would weaken my argument if the agency ever did see fit to intervene. I'm looking for a solution rather than an escalation. I'm just hoping to catch him in the act one time then I can let him have it, hopefully without wrapping his bicycle around his face, arm, chest, neck and head.

For now I'm just going to try and rise above, as the kids say.
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by In The Know » Wed May 25, 2016 10:00 pm

I don't know, I sort of like sirwanksalot's idea: SuperGlue the lock. :thumbsup:

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by allblacks » Thu May 26, 2016 10:05 am

Cool. What about a vegemiting of handle bars and seat then? Lol

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by AsahiSupaSpy » Thu May 26, 2016 10:27 am

allblacks wrote:Cool. What about a vegemiting of handle bars and seat then? Lol
Chain oil on the brake pads?

(ps That's a joke. There is no way I'd do that)
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Thu May 26, 2016 11:26 am

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure though, as my missus doesn't really seem to plan on asking anyone but rather just drafting people on the day of.

One more gripe - I work as a haken and have a second job at night and Saturdays. I wasn't really looking for a different job but got scouted for a different haken (an extra 700 yen an hour) and got hired for it. Father-in-law likes that I work more (he understands the idea of working now to save up money in case stuff happens) but missus has gotten more and more pissed and is insisting I quit before starting the new job (June 1st). I tried to explain to her that quitting with one week notice is burning a bridge I might need in the future but she isn't having any of it.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by MacGyver » Thu May 26, 2016 11:42 am

inflames wrote:One more gripe - I work as a haken and have a second job at night and Saturdays. I wasn't really looking for a different job but got scouted for a different haken (an extra 700 yen an hour) and got hired for it. Father-in-law likes that I work more (he understands the idea of working now to save up money in case stuff happens) but missus has gotten more and more pissed and is insisting I quit before starting the new job (June 1st). I tried to explain to her that quitting with one week notice is burning a bridge I might need in the future but she isn't having any of it.
Shit man, be thankful you have a wife that doesn't like you working all the time. Mine starts getting nervous if I take time off or work slows down even a little. Not like we spend it on anything so she's certainly not a spendthrift, if anything she's the opposite, but being Japanese life scares her. You just never know what might happen.... (Which is true but working 80+ hours a week ain't living either.)
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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Thu May 26, 2016 3:14 pm

She isn't against the working thing, but rather said that it is a new job so I need to make a good impression, even though it might be against the haken's work rules. I do work from home sometimes and she doesn't even like that too much.

My wife is kind of the opposite - she is a spendthrift, but one of the things that gets to me is she blows money on dumb shit - she bought some 15,000 yen Chanel perfume last week, for example. She has a ton of shoes and clothes, most of which is expensive. One day we were going to meet her parents - I told her she should wear comfortable shoes because we would probably be walking a lot. She didn't and after about 15 minutes of walking the complaining starts - her solution was to buy new shoes. Meanwhile I save 150,000 yen from my paycheck and actually invest it. At least the extra 700 yen per hour means I will take home about the same, even with quitting.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by allblacks » Thu May 26, 2016 7:24 pm

Nearly getting hit by some spastic on a scooter yesterday on the way home. You know the type... Dyed hair. No helmet. Toe rag!

Unfortunately for the above idiot I have drive cam so if he actually hit me I would have him coming in from the right in an illegal right turn.

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Re: Lifes little gripes II

Unread post by inflames » Fri May 27, 2016 1:01 pm

More BS - new haken company wants references, so I gave two from the place where I taught business English part-time for 6 years (this wasn't on my resume but I told them and they told client) - my original boss and my next boss (both official company e-mail addresses). I worked from home mostly for 2 years, and before that worked for a startup that I believe has since gone bust (their homepage basically says we will do work with you only if we know you or are introduced, and the owner didn't respond to my e-mail)

I give them the two references and explain that they prefer e-mail and one only speaks English. Haken lady (who lived in Australia for 10+ years apparently) gets back to me and says she wants them from either the place where I worked from home or the startup, plus they have to be on the phone in Japanese. I explained that the work from home place probably wouldn't know me (beyond my name) and wouldn't be able to give a real opinion of my work (having never actually met me), but I could provide invoices to prove everything. I also explained about the startup. Am still waiting for a response, but honestly this is pissing me off.

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