Understanding Japanese Women

[Shawn]

That's the name of an e-book the Japan Times is plugging today:
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/ ... 729aj.html

The website for the e-book is here. If you think you've read this site's sales pitch before, you have. This e-book is sold through ClickBank, the same outfit that the English Coach System used. The similarities between the two sites are scary.

On another note, does one really need a "book" to understand Japanese women?

[Stick-Swinging Incident]

There are 3 or 4 pics on this guys site (the blog) that are obviously professionally done. The girls are amazing.
Wanna bet they have NO idea that their pics are being used to hock this book?

[sos]

not everyone is the same!
There are subservient, ganman tsuyoi J-women, J-women who feel their Japanese counterpart don't understand, crazy/not thinking about tomorrow young J-women, really conservative/I am not so beautiful blah-blah type J-women and so on.

A better book would be "understanding women" but if we women don't understand why our gender does certain things (i don't understand sometimes why I do certain things) how in hell are we supposed to expect men to understand

[quato]

written by Western Woman...

[Shawn]

Going through the blog turned up this marketing speak-filled site on teaching in Japan:
http://www.teaching-in-japan.com/ebook/

which leads to more from the same author:
http://www.wehelpnewbies.com/

[indoctrin8]

it'll take a lot more than
a shit book to have me
understanding women...

[InTheColdLightOfDay]

Going through the blog turned up this marketing speak-filled site on teaching in Japan:
http://www.teaching-in-japan.com/ebook/

which leads to more from the same author:
http://www.wehelpnewbies.com/

What do I think?

I think you should stop highlighting, colouring in and embiggening random parts of your spiel!!!
Also, if you're gonna advertise an e-book on teaching English, you might want to proof read your websites...

Oh, and anyone who buys a book, "E" or otherwise, on how to understand women deserves to lose their money. And probably a limb or two as well.

[Tall Tall Tree]

This is approaching the level of comedy.

I tried to sign up for the dating one using a disposable email address -- spam.la is a nice free service that most scummy sites haven't blocked yet. But this one has blocked it…

So I created a new junk email address through a web hosting account and signed up using that. (Now let's see how much span that address, which I've never used for anything else before, is going to get.) It turns out that it's pretty easy to leech the sample ebook without registering; it's here:

http://www.japandatingtips.com/UJW-Sampler.pdf

I bet the full version is also easily-accessible. Seems this guy's too cheap/dumb to set up some proper file protection.

I've just skimmed through the first few pages so far, and it seems to be mostly generalizations… As to be expected, I suppose.

[allblacks]

This guy says;

"This is NOT Some Lame E-Book on Picking Up Japanese Women"

But look at his contact email address;

contact@japandatingtips.com


The first part says this;

About the Author

For well over a decade, David J. Radtke has been living and working in
Japan. His passion for the Japanese language, Japanese culture, and
relationships between the Japanese people and those from the West have put
him in a very unique position as translator, international consultant, and
relationship counselor.
He was born in the state of Michigan in the United States of America. After
graduating from college, he traveled to Japan and has spent the past 13 years
living and working there.
One of his ongoing passions for the past 20 years has been the study of
human psychology and human behavior, focusing on how our own culture
influences how we think, behave, and relate to each other.
Mr. Radtke now spends his time developing his own international
consulting business as well as writing. He has written five complete books to
date and is currently working on his sixth.

Is that supposed to be his editor writing that?

Ooh and then theres this;

I've dated many Japanese women. Women of all varieties, temperaments,
and yes, even shapes and sizes. I don't say this to impress you. I say this to let
you know that I'm not someone who only spent a year or two learning about
Japan and Japanese people and then decided to write a book about it.

Japan is now my life and will be for some time. Because of that, I'd like to think that I'm more knowledgeable than most when it comes to the relationship culture of Japan. And by the way, I am now a happily married man – happily married to a
wonderful Japanese woman!

Ooh shit! Then he MUST be an expert. Wow. A whole 13 years!

And here's why...
The way Japanese women view romantic relationships is completely
different than that of Western cultures. It doesn't matter where she lives – in
Japan or in your own country – this ingrained image of dating and romantic
relationships will be the dominant force controlling her behavior.
It will directly influence whether or not your relationship will burn with
flames of passion or abruptly end with heart-ache and confusion.
It is because of the above mentioned reasons that I decided to write
Understanding Japanese Women. With so many men suffering through painful
and confusing relationships with Japanese women, the only solution was to
write a book that would end that confusion, remove the pain, and help those
men become successful in their relationships.
Long story, short: this book is for you.
Free Sampler From: Understanding Japanese Women 6
Click

All Japanese are rich. Australians have barbeques everyday. All NZers play rugby. Hmm...

Japan is notorious for hiding the truth that they feel would not be in the best
interest of Japan as a whole. SIC

Grammatical mistake here.

Every year more and more of Japan’s ugly past is
being removed from its history textbooks – even when the Japanese people
themselves tell the government that they prefer to leave it in.

Maybe. Could the author be any more general?

“Every rule has an exception.
Except the ‘Rule of Exceptions’
– which is the exception.”

Minus 50 points right there. Thats just lame.


I went through the rest of that. Not impressive at all. Lame. Too many generalisation from this self proclaimed expert.

[Tall Tall Tree]

Okay, having skimmed through the sample book… it's actually not that terrible. It's not so much about Japanese women as it is about Japanese cultural differences and such that westerners might not understand. I'm not sure how accurate it is, but at least it's sensical and well-written in the grammatical sense.

Just like with Beck's book, I can see how it might be of value to some people, and I'm willing to assume it's more in earnest than a scam. But it's also marketed skeezily and not something I'm really interested in paying for personally.

[allblacks]

Um no its not.

Japan is notorious for hiding the truth that they feel would not be in the best
interest of Japan as a whole.

Japan; THEY? Does not make sense.

[DavidR]

Let me introduce myself...
My name is David J. Radtke, author of the UJW e-book.
(Yes, it's really me.)

I thought it might be interesting to come here and
talk with some of the members.

So... let me begin:

Am I a great writer? Don't know. I can see that there
are some mistakes (time to fire my proofreader) and
maybe the e-book is marketed completely the wrong
way (suggestions anyone?) but I still believe in the
validity of the information in the e-book.

I don't proclaim to be an expert - just a guy who
has lived in Japan for a very long time and took
the time to research the cultural differences.
(I know some foreign men who have lived here longer
than I have, yet have never bothered to learn about
the culture or even the Japanese language.)

Anyway...

I'll be more than happy to answer any questions
people might have about me, the e-book, or
anything else.

Here's to some interesting conversation!
David

[Mogura]

Hi David. I'm Mogura. Nice to meet you.

I hope you like my avatar, but that's not me (so no PM messages, please).

I have a question regarding Japanese women...

When I was an exchange student at a Japanese university over 10 years ago I was staying with a host family. Among the other inane questions I was pelted with during my homestay experience, I was asked, "Would you like to marry a Japanese girl/woman?" "Sure..." The wide-eyed horny gaijin known as mogura (with a lowercase 'M') responded.

So one day my homestay father and I sat down to discuss this topic at length. He said, "mogura-kun, if I know you well, you are the type of guy that tends to go for 'nice girls'. You know, the ones brought up in good families with stable environments, positive, good-natured girls. They have their heads on straight, are hardworking, loyal, dedicated, blah, blah..." He was pretty spot-on, so I nodded. "But the thing is, mogura-kun, nice Japanese girls don't tend to go with foreigners... no offence, but the kind of girls that tend to go with foreigners are the ones that are difficult to deal with (for us Japanese), are social outcasts, or like to party excessively... Really, the nice girls tend to end up with nice guys... Japanese guys. I'm so sorry... Please forgive me for being so blunt." Yes, this conversation actually took place, and this is what my host father actually said to me. (He was a country bumpkin, so that should put things in perspective. He's prominent city councilman now.)

Anyway, over the years, I've kinda sat back and observed... using my own relationships as well as those of my friends' (including their marriages) to either refute or validate what my host father had told me so many years ago. I'm leaning towards 'validate', but I would be interested in hearing your view.

Was my homestay father off his rocker, or was he a wise old sage on the subject of gaijin male-Japanese female relationships?

[DavidR]

Mogura,

Thanks for writing!

To begin, let me say that my Japanese wife is not an outcast, was never a party animal, off her rocker, or anything else abnormal. She is actually one of them most sane women I've ever met (including women I know from my home country of America.)

Some of my married (foreign) friends here also have nice Japanese wives and they never really complain about their wives.

On the flip side, I've talked with my married, male Japanese friends and heard them complain about the insanity of their Japanese wives.

To say that all Japanese women who are interested in foreigners are crazy is absurd (from what I've seen.)

What exactly your homestay father could have been implying is hard to say. Japanese people tend to "insult" themselves as a way of humbling themselves. He also could have been pulling your leg to see how you would react. And, of course, he could have had a slight envy of foreign men and so wanted to turn you off to dating Japanese women.

That's my take, anyway. I could tell you more if I heard what kind of Japanese language he was using and his intonation as well.

Thanks again for writing!
David

[DavidR]

David,

One question: Out of curiosity, how many 29-year-old Japanese women have you actually met who really had a curfew? I'm married now, but back in the days when I was single, I dated quite a few women ranging from their early to late twenties who lived at home, and none of them ever had any issue about sleeping over, and that included some that were still in college. I'm sure that, given the population here, such people do exist, but I think they would be considered outliers, and, quite frankly, I would also strongly suspect that a 29-year-old woman with a curfew has some serious family issues going on. My advice to a guy who encountered such a woman would be to run far away.

Thanks for the question!

Traditionally, unmarried daughters were supposed to live at home with their family until marriage. Even though times have changed greatly and more and more single women are living apart from their family, some still observe the older traditions.

I've heard this from about (roughly) 35%-40% of the men I talked to (both Western and Japanese). So odds are that you might meet a Japanese woman who follows the old ways or one that doesn't.

Here's another point:
My Japanese sister-in-law decided to live at home with her mother WITH her Japanese husband (both are around the age of 30). This was a very traditional way to do things - and still some families do it.

Thanks again!
David

[Will]

But in my opinion, not understanding Japanese women is all part of the fun, I would hate to rob an incoming gaijin of those essential life lessons in dating weird mental girls

But good on you for writing the book David, perhaps it would be of more use to the older crowd?

[sampler]

David, I took a look at your webpage and the first thing that screamed at me was that the book (your ebook) is written by a western man. In that I suspect your Japanese wife (and presumably other Japanese women) helped you write some of it or at least confirmed your findings, it might lend credibility to your product if you added your wife's name to the authorship. Just a suggestion --- ahh, just thought, she'd probably want a cut... forget it

[DavidR]

But in my opinion, not understanding Japanese women is all part of the fun, I would hate to rob an incoming gaijin of those essential life lessons in dating weird mental girls

But good on you for writing the book David, perhaps it would be of more use to the older crowd?

Thanks Will!

I'll admit that not understanding the Japanese women I had dated was kinda fun... but only when the cultural differences didn't cause hurt feelings, arguments, and breakups!

I know that I would have enjoyed the experience so much more if I knew then what I know now... but isn't that how it always seems to be?

David

[allblacks]

Let me introduce myself...
My name is David J. Radtke, author of the UJW e-book.
(Yes, it's really me.)

I thought it might be interesting to come here and
talk with some of the members.

So... let me begin:

Am I a great writer? Don't know. I can see that there
are some mistakes (time to fire my proofreader) and
maybe the e-book is marketed completely the wrong
way (suggestions anyone?) but I still believe in the
validity of the information in the e-book.

I don't proclaim to be an expert - just a guy who
has lived in Japan for a very long time and took
the time to research the cultural differences.
(I know some foreign men who have lived here longer
than I have, yet have never bothered to learn about
the culture or even the Japanese language.)

Anyway...

I'll be more than happy to answer any questions
people might have about me, the e-book, or
anything else.

Here's to some interesting conversation!
David

David

Welcome to LJ.

im sorry but i have to take issue with the generalizations you have put forward both in your e-book and here as well.

In my opinion, 13 years is insufficient time to start passing judgement. In fact, I dont think there is a point at which anyone can do it. Much less call themselves an expert on "Japan" women (sic). Yes. THAT was on purpose.

You say this above

"
I don't proclaim to be an expert - just a guy who
has lived in Japan for a very long time and took
the time to research the cultural differences.
(I know some foreign men who have lived here longer
than I have, yet have never bothered to learn about
the culture or even the Japanese language.)"

Yet on the ebook site you certainly do;

"'ve dated many Japanese women. Women of all varieties, temperaments,
and yes, even shapes and sizes. I don't say this to impress you. I say this to let
you know that I'm not someone who only spent a year or two learning about
Japan and Japanese people and then decided to write a book about it.

Japan is now my life and will be for some time. Because of that, I'd like to think that I'm more knowledgeable than most when it comes to the relationship culture of Japan. And by the way, I am now a happily married man – happily married to a
wonderful Japanese woman!"

Sounds BS to me. You are then you arent an expert...

Anyway. I dont think this kind of "book" is worth any more of my time so Im just gonna leave it.

ABs

[DavidR]

David, I took a look at your webpage and the first thing that screamed at me was that the book (your ebook) is written by a western man. In that I suspect your Japanese wife (and presumably other Japanese women) helped you write some of it or at least confirmed your findings, it might lend credibility to your product if you added your wife's name to the authorship. Just a suggestion --- ahh, just thought, she'd probably want a cut... forget it

Sampler,
She already gets a cut!
It's called rent, utilities, food for my two kids, etc.....

Thanks for the advice!
I already have this on the e-book page:

In addition, countless interviews with Western men, Japanese women, and Japanese men have guaranteed its accuracy.

But you're right, adding that my Japanese wife contributed to the e-book would help. She really did offer a lot of advice. But I always doubled, tripled, quadruple, (etc, etc) checked with many other Japanese women and Japanese men to make sure the advice wasn't just my wife's advice.

David

[DavidR]

David

Welcome to LJ.

im sorry but i have to take issue with the generalizations you have put forward both in your e-book and here as well.

In my opinion, 13 years is insufficient time to start passing judgement. In fact, I dont think there is a point at which anyone can do it. Much less call themselves an expert on "Japan" women (sic). Yes. THAT was on purpose.

You say this above

"
I don't proclaim to be an expert - just a guy who
has lived in Japan for a very long time and took
the time to research the cultural differences.
(I know some foreign men who have lived here longer
than I have, yet have never bothered to learn about
the culture or even the Japanese language.)"

Yet on the ebook site you certainly do;

"Ive dated many Japanese women. Women of all varieties, temperaments,
and yes, even shapes and sizes. I don't say this to impress you. I say this to let
you know that I'm not someone who only spent a year or two learning about
Japan and Japanese people and then decided to write a book about it.

Japan is now my life and will be for some time. Because of that, I'd like to think that I'm more knowledgeable than most when it comes to the relationship culture of Japan. And by the way, I am now a happily married man – happily married to a
wonderful Japanese woman!"

Sounds BS to me. You are then you arent an expert...

Anyway. I dont think this kind of "book" is worth any more of my time so Im just gonna leave it.

ABs

Thanks for the reply!

I guess the wording of "I'd like to think that I'm more knowledgeable than most when it comes to the relationship culture of Japan" sounded light to me. I guess I was wrong!

Do you have any good suggestions on how to word it better? I really don't want to come off sounding conceited or stuck up.

David

[jon]

[quote="DavidR" I really don't want to come off sounding conceited or stuck up.[/quote]

Everyone on here is an expert on their own opinions and doesn't mind letting other people have them: but they don't charge! There are lots of threads on here that relate to topics that you are involved in with your book, so why not just make a few points in them from time to time where you think your perspective is relevant?

Cheers

[DavidR]

Jon,

Before I reply, may I ask a question?
Are you saying I'm bad a person for writing an e-book and then charging people for it?

BTW,
I blog about this topic as well - and it is free to view my posts. I also write an
online newsletter - which is also free. When people e-mail me with questions, I reply
(that is also free)

David

[DavidR]

PanicInducingGaijin,

My apologies for not being more specific.

-3 Japanese women I dated had a curfew.
-Are 35%-40% such bad odds? If I said 10% then I can understand your point.
-And yes I believe the point is relevant. I was talking about how some old traditions still continue even today.
-It really is me. If you doubt my honesty, then go to my website and send me a personal e-mail to the address there.

So far I have answered to the best of my ability all the questions posted here (as well as numerous e-mails sent directly to my website and private messages here.) So if I am a troll, then I guess I'm a pretty generous one.

David

[allblacks]

I think that we need no longer prove one thing or another here.

Its another of those e-book thingies where the "author" is just trying to make a quick yen by making gross generalizations on a topic that they are not qualified to examine. As someone else said, newbies may be sucked in, but it is not anything to write home about at the end of the day.



Next

ABs

[DavidR]

PanicInducingGaijin,

Here's what I meant about the odds:
-You think 35%-40% are shockingly low odds. To me, 10% or less are shockingly low odds.

Yes, we are talking about curfew. The whole curfew custom comes from traditional culture. Traditional culture still exists in Japan - hence the addition of the point about my sister-in-law.

David

(Hmmm 35%-40% of all Japanese women riding the train are knife-wielding murders? What train station do you use? I need to know so I can avoid that place...)

[bamboohat]

Allright, I had to register so I could comment here, since I feel I have a few valid points.

1) Many Many Ebooks use the same marketing format, which is based on old sales letters, so to me it's just par for the course. I've read many ebooks on many different topics. It's just marketing. Internet marketing is different from television from radio from newspapers.

2) I purchased and read the ebook about 6 months or so ago, read it in about two hours. Although it held nothing broundbreaking for me, I felt it was worth the money.

3) The book is basically filled with generalizations and tidbits that I've read elsewhere about japanese culture, and many anecdotal stories. I came to the conclusion that one could have probably read the generalizations else where for free (like on travel websites and what not) and made up the anecdotals. I'm not saying that is what the author did, just saying that was my impression.

4) The purpose of the Author in visiting this forum (in my opinion) is to protect the "integrity" of the book. So in case somebody is considering buying it, and they google the title, they won't come across this forum and see it roundly thrashed.

5) The author created a product, and is aggressively trying to sell it. For that I give him props. There are much worse products out there for more money.

My bottom line opinion is that if you are gung ho about dating j-girls, you really don't need this book, as most of the actual dating material (after you strip away the cultural stuff) is no different than for dating other girls. The culture info you could probably find elsewhere in forums and such.

However, If you can spare the 20 bucks or whatever it costs (I forget) it does make for a somewhat interesting read.

Caveat emptor

[sos]

I am surprised you guys read the sample book!

[Monkeynuts]

Not having read the book I can't say whether it's worth the cash or not but having looked at the website I will be giving it a wide berth. Bamboohat makes some fair points but whether it's normal or not for Ebooks to be marketed this way the book seems to be promising the world yet I strongly suspect many who buy it will still be tearing their hair out due to relationships with Japanese women. The testimonials are classy though. 'She's mine! She's mine! We're finally dating! Thank you! -Brian C.' .

PS Is there anything in the book that would help a clueless gaijin to get a relationship going with two mysteriously beautiful Japanese women so that I can post in The Threesomes Thread?

[indoctrin8]

this sort of pish makes
me sick. im not a touchy
feely PC guy. far from
it. but if men are buying
books about how to date
women, then our future is
fucked. i dont understand
the way they behave sometimes.
but im not going to treat
them as a sociology experiment.

theyre the same as us.
jesus.

im drunk.hope.