After trying desparately but to no avail to persuade my co-worker (big American lass) to walk from the Izakaya to the karaoke box, I was riding about 5 metres behind her waiting for her to fall.
She took a full on header into a coffin-sized concrete flower box filled with snail sized stones, flanking the stone stairway to a locksmiths. Didn`t even put her hands out. Down like a sack o` spuds.
I got there and helped her out, to take a seat on the steps. She leaned forward and sat still as a pool of blood started spreading at her feet. I asked a passerby to call an ambulance as I hand my hands full pressing an extra t- shirt I was carrying to the L-shaped gash in her forehead, just above her right eye. So the guy made the call and the ambulance and 3 car loads of cops showed up.
First cop comes up to me, fat old guy, probably a sargeant or whatever. Pulls me to a standing position. Finger in my chest.
`Passport!` he says. `Passport!` he repeats for effect.
`Look after my friend!`
`Look after my friend`
I think our faces were about 10 centimeters or so apart at this point, and somehow we were seperated and I was surrounded by 4 or 5 younger, more polite, yet no less insistant guys. The questions came thick and fast in Japanese.
Where are you from?
Where do you work?
How long have you been in Japan?
Where is your Gaijin card
Is this your wife?
Where were you tonight?
Where are you going?
How many people were in your party?
What / how much did you / she have to drink?
Where do you / does she live?
Where are your friends now?
Did you push her?
I answered them one by one, and gave an apology and a `wakarimasen` to the ones that might have had them busting in on my friends karaoke session which was by now in full swing I guess. I maintained my composure, showed them my ID and what not and moved the bikes around the corner at their request, taking the opportunity to have a piss against a wall and reply to a couple of texts and calls from my friends.
Where are you guys?
Can I help?
Dude you`re missing an awesome night!
Anyway went back to the scene and now they were firing the same questions at my co-worker, who was by now lying on her side having her head bandaged by the medics and occasionally spewing up the wine that she had drunk earlier. They wanted to see her ID and told me to get her wallet out of her pocket, which was underneath her of course. They moved the ambos out of the way so I could do this. I asked them why the medics or they themselves couldn`t do it (as my medical training extends to sticking plasters, dettol and saying `A doctor? Nah fuck that, it`ll be alright.`) but I was met with an `X` and a `You must do it` by way of explanation. I apologised in advance to the girl and pulled her forward a little to get to her pocket. She screamed and promptly vomited, the wound bleeding anew so I stood and said `Get fucked, get the medics to do it`
There was a huddle and a team talk and I guess they thought that was reasonable and no more was said. Finally she was moved into the ambulance, and as she was fully conscious now and realising she was being bundled into an ambulance surrounded by masked Japanese faces and flashing red lights she panicked and started screaming for me. `Where are you?, `Where did you go? and so forth. I wasn`t finished with the cops yet though and had to give up my address (old- luckily I hadn`t updated my card details) and phone number (wrong)
Went to the hospital where she was stiched up, bikes were still there the next day, heard nothing from the cops since.
Do NOT arrest this man.