This country is designed for midgets.

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This country is designed for midgets.

Postby senseiman » Tue May 18, 2004 12:27 am

Today my wife and I went to Tsutaya to rent a video. When we get to the top of the escalator, there is a big 'Last Samurai' billboard suspended beneath a row of 3 TVs showing scenes from the movie. As I walk under it, suddenly I feel my head smack against something and then the whole fucking billboard comes crashing down on me, knocking me clean off my feet!!

The damned thing was so low that I hit it with my head as I walked under it, and for some reason it was only held in place by a few magnets so it didn't take much force to knock it down. It was damned embarassing, though despite the loud noise and commotion for some reason no store employees could be bothered to come over and see if everything was OK. So my wife and I picked it up and heaved it back into place. Not wanting any other tall people (I'm 185cm tall) to hit their heads and wanting to cause the Tsutaya bastards some inconveniece, I pushed it up further so that the billboard completely covered the TVs. We then spent about 15 minutes choosing a video, and nobody seemed to notice.

Any other tall people out there similarly abused by the configuration of this place?
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Postby nigerian_nampa » Tue May 18, 2004 1:04 am

:rotfl: That's like a scene from a movie. I'm picturing Chris Tucker crashing into the billboard. :rotfl:

I'm not especially tall, but I'm reasonably built. There are several machines at my gym that I simply can not use, because my body doesn't fit and there's no way to adjust the machine. If I attempt to use the pectoral fly machine, I can't move the handles more than half way to the center, because they're too close to my chest.
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Postby duma » Tue May 18, 2004 1:17 am

Actually, this is probably the one country where I can feel good at not being particularly tall. I've never had any problems, although I have to be careful sometimes in the subway system in Tokyo.
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Postby barten » Tue May 18, 2004 2:32 am

I'm somewhere over six feet, exactly where depends on my mood, and I've whacked my head in Japan so many times, my brain has become a messed up mass of blood and sponge. The lintels in my apartment have dints in them where I've wandered about a little boozed and forgot to duck between kitchen and living room. It really hurts! My girlfriend barely reaches five feet, so it doesn't bother her at all. The worst is doing it in public, as you did, senseiman. Getting off the train and having the fuck knocked out of you by the low doorway while everyone around pretends not to notice is... embarrassing.
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Postby SrinTuar » Tue May 18, 2004 3:17 am

barten wrote:Getting off the train and having the fuck knocked out of you by the low doorway while everyone around pretends not to notice is... embarrassing.


Would it soften the blow if there were some gaijin around to have a laugh at your expense :)
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Postby allblacks » Tue May 18, 2004 4:41 am

What is 192 cm in feet and inches? I have no idea. Pretty tall I suppose, but have bashed me head many a time. The most embarassing is when getting on the train. Just about knocked meself out! :rotfl:
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Postby yaffle » Tue May 18, 2004 9:17 am

I'm the same height as AB, and the worst thing isn't the ducking but the lowness of kitchen surfaces. I get back ache every time I do the washing up.

Lots of people say to me that I must have difficulty sleeping in a Japanese bed, but I don't find that they're much, if at all, smaller than they are back home.
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Postby Cyberfoxbat » Tue May 18, 2004 9:42 am

I remember when I lived in a flat converted from a loft(flat roofed block) - There were girders that were at 1.6m Still have flashbacks from that traunatic time (I'm 180cm tall)
When a friend who spent a year in Japan came over he told me that low doors ect were made to teach the gaijin.... the words hard to translate - humbleness - always keeping their heads down in an eternal bow - because if they dare look up.........
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Postby MacGyver » Tue May 18, 2004 9:44 am

Yep been saying the same thing for years senseiman. Not easy being a tall person in Japan.
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Postby senseiman » Tue May 18, 2004 11:53 am

Glad to know I'm not alone.

I've been thinking about this and its pretty worrisome. I read somewhere that left-handed people actually have shorter life spans because the world is designed for right-handed people and that trips them up enough that it shaves a couple of years off their life. So I'm thinking the same rules probably apply to tall people living in Japan, a country designed for short people-- it is shaving years off our lives!!! Its like living here is a bad lifestyle choice-like smoking 2 packs a day or eating 2 big macs for lunch every day. Its gonna kill us in the end!

I've been lucky enough never to hit my head on the train, but at my old Leo Palace aparment the door between my 'kitchen' and 'room' was about 5cm shorter than I am, so I was always hitting my head there. The carpet in front of the door had a smorgasboard of stains on it, because half the time I hit my head I would be carrying a plate of food or glass of something, which I would usually spill.
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Postby allblacks » Tue May 18, 2004 1:45 pm

Some of the Japanese cars are definetly not for me: Trueno for example. I couldn't sit up without my head touching the interior ceiling. One of my mates is 213cm tall. He lives in OZ and drives a Holden...the only car he fits in!
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Postby MacGyver » Tue May 18, 2004 1:52 pm

Fark...He's not Luke Longley by any chance is he??? :roll: :shock:
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Postby okazakiOm » Tue May 18, 2004 7:32 pm

Ha, fcuk all you tall cnuts.

173 cm. Exactly the height of those traditional J doorways.

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Postby Diogenes_in_Tokyo » Tue May 18, 2004 7:38 pm

192 cm, about 6'3...

Yes, my first apartment caused me a lof of headaches as well *rimshot*
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Postby Examination_Hell » Tue May 18, 2004 7:49 pm

I'm 186cm. The first time I rode the Yamanote line on my way to Shinjuku I smashed the top of my head on the door. Nearly drove me to my knees. Spent 10 mins on the train rubbing my head. Got off and smashed the top of it again. arrghh f*ck!

When I moved into a typical Japanese house I was banging my head every bloody day for the first 6 months.

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Postby novacaine » Tue May 18, 2004 8:22 pm

i feel like gulliver. i need double portions of everything!
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Postby DragonEagle » Tue May 18, 2004 8:29 pm

Damn, y'all be some big boys!

I'm 173 and quite enjoy being "average" height here, as opposed to short back in the US.

Just reading your posts has nearly brought tears to my eyes, as I take great pleasure in watching tall people smack their heads on stuff.

I remember when a new teacher came to my school, he was pretty tall, and we had low doorways all over the place. He would often be talking to somebody and then turn around to walk away and BAM! right in the forehead.

Another time I'm sure he compressed a disc or two when he jammed his head on the low staircase. Frickin hilarious stuff.

But not to make you guys feel bad, I constantly bang my shins on those useless shelves under the table that so many restaurants have, I guess they are for ladies purses or something, they are just a shin buster to me.

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Postby Moi » Tue May 18, 2004 8:39 pm

I'm a hair over 6 feet (181) so I'm not that overly tall but I still find it very inconvenient. The train is a classic example, the supermakets with their "specials" signs with pointy ends around the eyes another... hmm.. Most anywhere really. I can only imagine how it is for taller people.

My gf always says to me "you're so fuben" cauz I'm also 80kg (about 175-180lbs... its been a while since I've weighed myself in lbs.) I'm definitely not fat or anything but its so hard to walk into the small shops when we're walking around somewhere. The aisles are like for size 2 models or some shit that I just end up waiting outside for her. And when I do end up inside, I gotta go around all those 150/45 girls while they're shoving their Gucci-Gucci bags into my crotch or whatever. Wait... that didn't come out right......

Buying pants, getting a seat on the train, etc.

This place is fine and all but I definitely feel fuben.
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Postby allblacks » Fri May 21, 2004 5:23 am

AGES ago I went to an amusement park near Senri Chuo with my ex girlfriend. We went on a stand-up roller coaster and all I remember is ducking down the whole ride SCARED THAT MY HEAD WOULD HIT THE ABOVE RAILING! The Japanese were well clear of it but I was convinced that :poo: was gonna happen if I stood up normally.

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Postby Big_Boy » Fri May 21, 2004 9:21 am

Yep.
When we bought our mansion, we made sure it had the taller doorways so I wouldnt have to stoop like a neanderthal when entering rooms. The problem is that I go out in the morning after a good nights sleep and forget to drag my knuckles on the ground when jumping in the train and wack the shit out of my fucking forehead :evil: . FUCK.

The low counters and sinks in our place have also given me a gawdamm crick in the back. Our sinks were installed at a height that forces me to bend over at an excruciating 23 degree angle which causes white hot needles of pain to shoot up my back :( . The sinks and counters in love hotels are purposely built at this height to facilitate anal sex but I would have to buy the missus a full optioned benz before I could get this service at home.

Nonstandardized can diameters have given me chronic brownfinger: I love my Toto washlet and depend on it to warm, spray, and dry my fat hairy ass twice a day. The problem is that the Japanese lilliputian-size bowl diameter causes my ass to spray caustic clingers around the rim. I will stand up with a squeeky clean ass and have to reach down with tissue and unsoil my throne. One day I'm gonna go down the the shitter showroom and yell at the cunts: HEY TOTO! SUPERSIZE ME !
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Postby DragonEagle » Fri May 21, 2004 11:26 am

Big_Boy wrote: The sinks and counters in love hotels are purposely built at this height to facilitate anal sex


I just gotta know how you came upon this information
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Re: This country is designed for midgets.

Postby Ziggy » Fri May 21, 2004 11:32 am

senseiman wrote:I feel my head smack against something and then the whole fucking billboard comes crashing down on me, knocking me clean off my feet!!


:rotfl: I'm sorry I missed that! :rotfl:
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Postby Ojii » Fri May 21, 2004 6:12 pm

:evil: :evil: :evil:

We are NOT called MIDGETS!!!

We are called LITTLE PEOPLE!!!



:evil: :evil: :evil:
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Postby monkeypants » Fri May 21, 2004 7:29 pm

Big_Boy wrote:Yep.
When we bought our mansion, we made sure it had the taller doorways so I wouldnt have to stoop like a neanderthal when entering rooms. The problem is that I go out in the morning after a good nights sleep and forget to drag my knuckles on the ground when jumping in the train and wack the shit out of my fucking forehead :evil: . FUCK.

The low counters and sinks in our place have also given me a gawdamm crick in the back. Our sinks were installed at a height that forces me to bend over at an excruciating 23 degree angle which causes white hot needles of pain to shoot up my back :( . The sinks and counters in love hotels are purposely built at this height to facilitate anal sex but I would have to buy the missus a full optioned benz before I could get this service at home.

Nonstandardized can diameters have given me chronic brownfinger: I love my Toto washlet and depend on it to warm, spray, and dry my fat hairy ass twice a day. The problem is that the Japanese lilliputian-size bowl diameter causes my ass to spray caustic clingers around the rim. I will stand up with a squeeky clean ass and have to reach down with tissue and unsoil my throne. One day I'm gonna go down the the shitter showroom and yell at the cunts: HEY TOTO! SUPERSIZE ME !


Or you could just make a statement in one of the showroom models a l・Jackass: The Movie
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